Saturday, March 23, 2013

Wardrobe Malfunction

So I have discovered that my blog had taken a certain turn.  A turn to the serious and thought provoking.  While I really don't mind that, it really doesn't describe who I am.

I am crazy and zany.  I am loud and outgoing.  I am unpredictable.  I tend to get myself into crazy situations at times too.  Allow me to describe one situation:

The year was 2004.  I was in my first year of teaching precious, innocent kindergartners at a local Catholic school.  I loved my job!

It was a lovely Spring day and I was dressed comfortably in long, somewhat fitted, basic denim dress.  (Don't judge me.  I was a kindergarten teacher and it WAS 2004!)

The day was going just peachy, except for one problem.  I had this pesky stubborn hair that was somehow attached to my bra that kept tickling/itching right under my bra line.  Well since I had on a full dress, I couldn't very well quickly take care of it.  I shifted and wiggled to the best of my ability to release said hair.  Nothing worked.  It continued to annoy me for the remainder of the morning.

By lunchtime/recess, the hair had stopped bothering me so, I really didn't think much about it while I had a chance to remove it.

The kids then returned to the room after recess to resume class.  During storytime, I noticed the itching getting astronimically worse.  Driving me crazy in fact.  Then as I looked down at the bodice of my dress while I was reading, I noticed a wet area on my dress.  Now, Mackenzie was a toddler at this point so I knew it was not a breastfeeding mishap.  It was just after lunch.  Perhaps I had splashed some water unknowingly on myself as I rinsed my dishes.  Not true either.  I noticed the wet area was expanding.  "What in the world?"  A tickling hair in my bra and a mysterious wet spot on my dress.  I was so confused.

I ended storytime a bit short and got the kiddos focused on an activity while I asked the teacher next door to keep an eye on my class.

I zipped down the hall to the teacher bathroom closet.  (Yes, I said closet because that is exactly what it was-a closet with a toilet and sink.  No room to move let alone get a long straight denim dress pulled up to investigate what was happening!)  As I shimmied the dress up, I noticed a small stream of liquid coming down from my bra.  It was clear.  I touched it questioningly.  It was oily.  Ewww!  "OH NO!"  My water bra had sprung a leak!  What was I going to do?

Well, I wiggled the oily dress back down and rushed back to my classroom trying to brainstorm a solution.  I didn't carry an extra bra around.  I couldn't go braless around my poor innocent kindergartners-or could I?

I figured it out!  You see, I could be president of the "itty-bitty committee"-hence the need for the water bra.  Support was really not an issue.  I had a solution in my classroom after all-----wait for it----the "BooBoo Box"!  Yep-bandaids!  

I zipped back down the hall to the closet.  This time was even more difficult.  I had to completely remove the dress in order to remove the defective bra.  No simply task in a closet that also contained a toilet and a sink-but I did it.  Remove bra.  Clean oil.  Apply bandaids to protect "virgin eyes" from an even worse wardrobe malfunction.  Then get on with the rest of my day-oily dress and all.

I know you are wondering, so NO I have not purchased another Water Bra since this incident.  I will stick with the (less that realistic) push up bra with fabric padding.

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