Adoption

Today I reflect on our journey with this handsome young man!

(Today is his 10th Birthday)

Paul and I married in June of 1998.  We knew very soon after that we wanted to start a family.  We got pregnant in the winter of 1999 but soon found out that baby would never physically join our family.  We wasted no time in trying again, and the next month after our miscarriage found out we were in fact pregnant a second time.  The next 9 months would be a roller coaster.  I suffered from hyper-emesis gravidarum.  (This is what Princess Kate has right now).  This condition brings on days of miserable nausea beyond explanation.  I was in and out of the hospital forcing me to quit my job and pretty much just stay in bed 24-7.  I do have to say it was all worth it when I met my beautiful daughter in December of 2000.

Life was good.  Our family was complete.....for a while.  I began to get "baby fever" when Kenzie was about 2 years old.  We knew what pregnancy had given us in the past and we weren't sure if we were ready for that again.  I even went to a high risk pregnancy specialist who told me we had a 95% chance of HEG again.  Not good news.  We held off on pregnancy, not knowing what the Lord had planned for us.

We went about our business of day to day life with our family of 3, happy and content.  

Paul and I decided to go to the Tulsa State Fair for a date night in the Fall of 2004.  While we were walking around, we stopped at the Waiting Child exhibit.  This exhibit had pictures of children in the Foster Care system of Oklahoma.  There were the kids that had been labeled "unadoptable".  These children were either older, special needs, biracial, or part of a sibling set.  These characteristics make it more difficult to place them into a forever home.  I stood there reading bio after bio thinking "Why doesn't anyone want these children.  They are perfect."  I looked and Paul and said, "Let's start the paperwork NOW."  After talking with someone from DHS, we began our adoption journey.

I am going to skip over the almost two years of agonizing, heart-wrenching, legalistic paperwork and WAITING.  I will just say it was a LONG 2 years.

During that two-year period, we prayed for our son.  We didn't know where he was.  We didn't know what he looked like.  We didn't know how old he was.  We knew nothing-EXCEPT-We believed that God had a son for us.  Kenzie prayed right along with us in her sweet little toddler voice, "Dear God, keep my brother safe.  Thank you for anyone that is helping to take care of him.  Bring him to us soon.  Amen"  She never missed praying for her brother a single night.

As we waited for the call, we got the basics of the room ready.  We had a bed, a dresser, and some VERY generic decorations.  We couldn't do much more for lack of knowledge of our child.

We met some children.  We looked at some files.  We never felt the push to proceed.  Until "THAT" day.

I remember it like it was yesterday.  It was a Tuesday morning.  I was sitting in the waiting room of the eye doctor for a check up after having my Lasik surgery.  My phone rang.  I saw the caller ID listing my case workers number.  I assumed she was just calling to get some more info or tell us something was missing from our file.  (That is what the majority of her calls were).  Instead, I heard "Jami, we have a boy for you.  He is 3 years old.  His name is Antonio.  Would you like to look at his file?"  Emotions flooded my body.  Something was different this time.  I just knew it.  I burst into tears.  "YES" I assured her.

I knew the people in that waiting room thought I was a mad woman.  Bawling like a baby while receiving a phone call.  But there was one lady who quickly asked if I was okay.  "Yes. I have a son!  There is a boy waiting for me."  I poured out all my emotions on this sweet unsuspecting woman.  She got excited with me.  She shared my joy.  I was thankful for her in that moment.  I needed someone to cry with me, and she did.  Tears of joy.  But wait-I knew nothing about this child.

That very afternoon, our case worker came by with his file.  As I saw his picture, I knew he was MINE.  This was my son!

We met him on Thursday.  It was a cold meeting at the DHS office.  They placed Paul, Mackenzie, and myself along with Tony in a "playroom" and watched behind a one-way mirror.  It was nerve-wrecking.  What were they watching for?  His reaction to us?  Our reaction to him?  I will never know.  All I knew was that THIS was my son!

Evidently it went well despite the fact that he cried the ENTIRE time.  We were granted a full-day unsupervised visitation on Sunday.  We spent the day at the Tulsa Zoo and had a blast!

Oh, how could someone NOT fall in love with this boy!

Our prayers had been answered.  The Lord had given me the desires of my heart.  Our family was complete.

In April of 2006, it was made official.  We stood before a judge and promised to love and provide for this handsome boy like he was our blood.  Not a problem for me.  He had become one of my heart beats the day I saw his picture!

Our Adoption Day

Sometimes people say, "He is so lucky you guys adopted him."  No-not true.  WE are the lucky ones.  He brings joy to everyday of our lives.  He has a smile that lights up a room.  He has a sense of humor that cannot be measured.  He is so very smart!  He is carefree and "chill" (something I need more of in my high-stress and anxiety world).  He is a child of God.  God trusted us enough to be called his parents.  We are the lucky one!

A fun little side note:

As we looked at the first photo of Tony, we recognized some things in the background.  When we got the address of the foster home where he was staying, we realized why everything looked so familiar.  We had once lived in that same neighborhood just a few years prior.  Turns out we had lived there while he was there-just a few blocks away.  Little did we know, there is a chance we might have seen our son playing at the park or while taking a walk.  We just never knew it!